After blowing up and being mad at everyone and everything, Minga has again settled into her pattern of receiving dialysis, recovering, having brief time at home, then returning to her daughter Ita’s to get ready for the next round. I’ve never had a chronic illness, or cared for anyone who has, but I imagine this seesawing of emotions to be quite normal.
I have plans to go to Panama for five days in mid-November. This trip is in addition to my January excursion, and my purpose is to be with Minga for the whole time, without the need to attend to guests. I’m eager to talk with her about how she’s really feeling with what will be almost two months of dialysis under her belt.
Her adult offspring have made it clear that they are not ready to lose their mother, and I understand and respect that. However, it’s a different question from whether Minga wants to continue dialysis, understanding as she now does that her life isn’t ever going to much different than it is now. Minga isn’t a terribly self-reflective person, but she’s very good at saying simply and honestly how she feels.
What will I do with whatever Minga might share? I will urge her to be as honest as she can with her family. These are hard discussions. But Minga has known much that is hard in life, and she’s been stalwart in working her way through. I imagine nothing less here.