Conscious Aging: Two Couples Having Breakfast

My marriage to Jerry lasted for 32 years, ended by his sudden death, which I’d call a mid-duration relationship. A long marriage, for me, has to top 40 years.

Having breakfast at my favorite morning spot, I noticed two older couples getting settled at their table — spouses, I’m sure. I’d say they were in their 80’s, but maybe 70’s and not much effort at staying fit. They had gray hair. The men had paunches, and the women flabby arms and flowered cotton tops over their brightly colored stretch pants . They sat, accepted the offer of coffee, then studied the menu. Then, their orders given, each of the four looked off in a different direction. They didn’t seem to be watching anything; rather, each had a kind of fixed, empty stare. If they were younger, they might have been on cell phones. What they clearly weren’t doing was talking. They didn’t say a word until their food arrived, then each bent separately to concentrate on the meal.

I didn’t have a long marriage, so I wonder about it. I wonder if it can get boring, if you simply lose the thread of shared conversation and cease to talk?

Sometimes, I think it happens.

2 thoughts on “Conscious Aging: Two Couples Having Breakfast

  1. My parents are 95 and 97, still live independently, still have volunteer jobs, each has their own car. They will be celebrating their 75th anniversary in August! They are truly soulmates. And although they are together most of the time, they each have activities that are independent from one another. I think that’s one important part of a strong relationship. Bill and I will never make 75 years (we are at 32), but I hope our relationship remains as strong as my parents.

  2. for Randi: I just love this! And the image you paint of your parents is such a contrast to the couples I saw at the breakfast place. I’m so glad to know that people can still be soulmates, even after 75 years. Thanks for sharing this.

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